Will work for visit...

Remember a few months back when I mentioned something about working for your visit when you come to meet the babies?? 

(This is the revised version of this post... my first attempt came across a little rude and demanding and maybe sounding a little bit entitled (as a good friend pointed out- glad shes got my back) which is definitely not what I intended when I wrote it, I hope I didn't offend you if you read it during the short time it was originally posted, and if I did I'm sorry.)
 
Words cannot express how grateful Luke and I would be to anyone who offers us any type of help after the arrival of our babies, whether that help comes in the form of help around our house, bringing us a meal,  giving Steven some special big brother attention, joining us on an outting,  or simply verbal support... it will be very much appreciated!

We are so excited to meet our babies, and also very excited to share them with our friends and family!

I will do my best to keep you updated via this blog on when we are accepting visitors at both the hospital and when we get home, so please check back after their arrival and there should be more information. You can always give us a call too.

If you are coming to visit and meet the babies, it would be absolutely awesome if you were also willing to bring us a meal (if we need one that day) and/or help us out with something around our house.  Our family doctor who has her own set of toddler age twins suggested very early on in our pregnancy that our visitors "earn their visit" and we make sure our visitors are aware that we aren't going to be "entertaining" them.  I have to admit that it does sound a bit demanding and selfish, but I don't think it's a terrible idea to have some expectations and guidelines especially in the beginning when we are trying to get on track with our new family members.  Quite honestly, I'm not planning to turn away any offer to help and I'm not going to have any energy for anyone else besdies my kids, so I can't imagine entertaining would even be an option... 

We are planning to exclusively breastfeed our twins, which as you can imagine is probably going to be very challenging in the begining and is going to require a lot of support and privacy until we get the hang of it.  Twenty-eight weeks ago when I first learned we were expecting twins I thought that breastfeeding was one of the things that went right out the window just because there was more than one baby.  Thankfully, I soon learned about the La Leche League and the special "Mom's of Multiples" group... I started attending meetings immediately (before I was even showing and I felt totally out of place surrounded by all the Mom's to be with big huge bellies like I have now).  I was (and still am) so empowered, motivated and in complete awe of the Mom's of multiples I have met in this group- they all exclusively breastfeed their twins (at the same time)! How cool is that!?!?! So, I know it's possible... and if they can do it, so can I!!!  I know that it is going to be very challenging in the beginning and that it's not always going to be a smooth journey even when we get good at it... (so when you see me struggling please cheer me on and don't let me give up when the going gets tough!) 
Also, please don't be offended if we don't want visitors right away or ask you to keep your visit short if we are still learning and need our privacy... It's pretty difficult to be discrete feeding two babies together at the same time, and I'm not really comfortable showing off my ta ta's to a crowd :)  

If you are planning to bring us a meal...

Take Them A Meal is this great website which includes a personalized online schedule for our friends and family to coordinate bringing us FOOD after our babies arrive.
 (Thank you to our wonderful Doula Alli Ryan for setting this up for us)

If you are interested and able to bring us a meal (and visit our babies) you can sign up on the website. If I haven't already sent you a personal email invitation with the specific login information for the schedule please send me an email at aninneman62183@gmail.com and I will gladly send you a personal invitation to the website (or of course you can call us and see if we need a meal and we can log in and put you on the calendar).

Luke and I would be very grateful for your delicious homemade cookin', and also for delivery from our very limited selection of local restaurants if you live far away or don't cook ;) but still would like to "bring us a meal".  We won't need something every single day, because I'm sure we will end up with leftovers to eat some days, and we have also prepared a lot of our own meals ahead of time that are waiting for us in our freezer...

If you are planning to help with things around our house...

We have a dry erase marker board set up in our kitchen where a list of things that need to be done each day will be written.  If Luke and I can't get to them, we would be very grateful if you would be willing to help us with something on the list so that we can put our energy into caring for our babies and Steven.

Special Big Brother Attention...

is going to be really important for Steven.  He is really excited to be a big brother, but that excitement obviously may diminish quickly if he feels like everyone is excited about the babies and not excited to see him too!  Especially because it's going to be very difficult for Luke and I to give him the same attention that he has been getting his whole life.  So please make sure to show him just as much excitement when you visit as you do the babies.  And, if you would like to spend some special time doing an activity or playing a game with Steven we would really appreciate that too. 

Verbal Support...

Your verbal support is so-o-o important to me!

 I'm open to hearing your helpful suggestions and what worked for you and what didn't with your babies and kids, but I also feel very confident with my plan regarding how I'm going to care for my babies.  It would make me feel very insecure and uncomfortable if someone made unsupportive comments about my choices and decisions, so I ask that even if you don't agree with my choices that you are still supportive.

  

I plan to exclusively breast feed both babies, if I am unsuccessful feeding them directly at the breast I will pump and feed them but still continue to try to feed them naturally whenever possible, and I plan to breast feed for their entire first year if not longer... (I'm going to need a ton of support to be successful doing this) and it would just break my spirits if someone told me that I should just give my babies formula, or supplement with formula to make things easier for myself.  One of the things we talk about often in La Leche League is surrounding ourselves with a positive supportive environment and  people who are going to help us stay strong and focused on our breastfeeding goals- one negative comment can have a devestating impact on sucessful breastfeeding.  So please encourage and support me even if breastfeeding isn't your thing or something you feel as strongly about as I do!

For the first 3-4 months (probably a little longer);

I plan to spend as much time holding my babies as possible- I don't think it's possible to spoil my babies (and I don't care if anyone thinks that it is possible, I've done my research and feel confident in my decision) and I don't have any intention of letting my babies cry during this period either.

So if you see Luke and I struggling, help us with what you can- cheer us on, give us your most positive support, please don't let us give in or give up... 

Lots of Love,

Anna